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animus24
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Name: Amanda
Country: United States
State: Oregon
Metro: Portland
Birthday: 1/17/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: Environment, animals, the political status of the first two, politics in general, philosophy, debate (parli), plants, being liberal, reading, and knowledge.
Expertise: At this point in my youth, I do not claim to be an expert at anything, but I suppose some of my expertise lies in debate, philosophy, and politics.
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
MSN: amanda_6503@hotmail.com
Member Since:
3/18/2005
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| Last night, for dinner, I ate fish and chips. The chips were good. The fish was...halibut. Fish. Animal flesh. I ate flesh last night. And at Ghazal and Sage's graduation party, I took a bite of crab. And, the scary part is, I am okay with it all. I don't feel bad. I know it was probably not 2 or 3 months ago when I was talking to Ramona saying that I will never eat fish, but, sorry Ramona, turns out I lied or something.
Okay, here is the thing. I read this book on blood types and their relation to diet which I don't need to get into right now. The bottom line, however, is that I am type O, which is the oldest blood type evolutionarily speaking, and therefore my blood comes from the hunter-gatherers. Meat eaters. Pretty much exclusively meat eaters. So my body wants meat. I know I love it. Anyway, so this means that it is biologically natural for me to eat meat. Because it is natural, how can it be unethical? I am pretty sure you could trace all food back and find something unethical with its production or something. That makes it unethical to eat. But it cannot be unethical because it is a biological necessity. Because it is a necessity, does that make it necessarily ethical?
The response I get from most vegetarians is that we have evolved beyond that point. I don't like that answer, it makes me nervous. It separates us even more from the natural world, saying we have evolved beyond biological necessity. Plus, its not really true. I have so many health problems that stem directly from me being a vegetarian. It is biologically necessary for me to eat meat. So doesn't that mean I should?
My problem has always come from the production of meat. Which means I will never eat meat from a factory farm. Thats fine. But what about wild game? I actually think that is far more natural than the chips and salsa I just ate (probably made by Mexicans without a living wage, no sick leave, no ability to unionize, etc.- see my point?). And, really, what about fish? I know that they are overfished. So what? I know there are ecological impact to that, but there are also ecological impacts to my car, and I don't seem to care too much about that. (For example, I just drove the three blocks to the school last night- pathetic!) Maybe I am just an unethical person, or at least a person trapped by their own ethical code. So do I say screw it? I am eating fish now, that is for sure. And I would probably eat wild game. (Bambi?) But jsut because I am doing it doesn't mean I am not terribly confused about it. Arg! I am going to blame Sharl for this one. Not because he influenced this internal debate at all, but it just also seems natural for "my side" to blame "his side" whenever we get confused.
In the end though, I think the worst part of my ethical dilemma is that I don't really care that much. I felt nothing when I ate the fish. That is the bad part.
peace
P.S. Cassie: I am eating fish in Hawaii. And, on a side note, are there lilacs in Hawaii? If there are, I probably won't be going outside too much....f-ing lilacs | | |
| 1.) My 400-level philosophy class is the easiest class I have taken so far in college. Dead serious. I haven't read anything and it doesn't matter because there have been and will be no tests, takehome or otherwise. And we only have one 7 page essay as an assignment. For the whole semester. And for our last class of the semester, we are meeting at the bar instead of the school. As awesome as Jay classes are, this is a little ridiculous.
2.) My sister recently informed me that the boy who was being so mean to her all year was a boy she used to date. And apparently I met the little f*** and gave him a ride home! At least she did say I was kind of rude to him the first time I met him (it was a Friday night over winter break sometime...I don't remember exactly what I said). Good for me. I am a great judge of character.
3.) So I did not get the SAAB tutoring director. Kate Ritchie got it. It was true, she is a better candidate for that position, so I agreed with the decision and did not at all feel slighted. But I was disappointed because Meredith had basically guaranteed me the position. I got over it fast on Friday night but it was, I think, the first job I applied for and interviewed for that I didn't get. BUT...then I went to the school to check my email on Saturday afternoon, ran into Meredith, and it turns out that she decided my tendency to be a bitch would not serve me well as tutoring director, as I would have to have dealings with grouchy but higher up faculty. Where she did think that tendency of mine would serve well as vice president of SAAB. She told me the position was mine if I wanted it. So, now I am not tutoring director but vice president. Boo yah!
4.) "Loose Change" scared the crap out of me. Just want to say that. I don't believe most of it, but it scares me.
5.) Am currently reading "The Bell Jar" by Sylvia Plath. I don't read many female authors (except for JK Rowling and Barbara Kingsolver, whose books I really enjoy) but I am really enjoying it. Its an odd book, but compelling for reasons I can't explain. There is no action, but its just told in a very real way. I am not finished yet, but I highly recommend it so far.
6.) Should be a good week. School gets out. Get to move into Lindsay and Andrews's house. Yay.
7.) Oh! One more thing. My cat peed on the carpet this morning (she's only done that once before, its no habit) while I was still sleeping. So she woke me up to clean it up, which was fine, but then she threw my cat outside! Sophie is an indoor cat! And then I couldn't find her before I had to go to school. So now I am worried. Damn Christina.
Oh well, still in a good mood. Yay Monday!
peace | | |
| 1.) Gave another speech in public discourse. It was on whaling. Was not prepared at all for it because I had just decided on a topic and written my outline for the speech an hour before giving it. Though it was very bad. People said it was good though? Ok, I will take that. Though, on my evaluations, I got called "scarey". All I tried to do was get people to sign a piece of paper and put their email address on it so I can send them individual ways to stop whaling. I actually said "Now, no pressure, sign only if you want" or something like that. Apparently I am scarey though. What can I do about that?
2.) All done with responsibility for this week. Woohoo! 'Tis a good day.
3.) No long like Luci. Find her annoying. Am quite enjoying Aidi of late, however. He doesn't ask me "why?" or "what are you doing?" every 2 seconds! (He cannot talk, so that helps.) Seriously, conversations go like this:
Amanda: (obviously sweeping the floor)
Luci: What are you doing?
Amanda: Sweeping.
Luci: Why?
Amanda: Because the floor is dirty.
Luci: Why?
Amanda: (in growing aggitation) Because you have dogs.
Luci: Why?
Amanda: Because you like dogs.
Luci: Why?
Amanda: Luci, that is enough. You cannot ask "why" anymore, I will just ignore it. (Amanda now pauses for a moment, contemplating whether or not telling a young child not to ask any questions could potentially lead to some young adult learning problem or something.)
Luci: Why?
Amanda: (To herself/in her head) I will kill you.
1.3 minutes pass
Luci: Amanda, what are you doing?
Amanda: (through gritted teeth) Still sweeping!
Luci: Why?
And so on. Needless to say it wears on me after awhile. Meanwhile Aidi just sits eating his pretzels. I like that in a person.
4.) Ace finally got voted off last night. Should have been Kelly. I hate her and she can't sing. She'd better not win. And Chris was in the bottom three for the first time! Wow, it was crazy. And they did the meanest thing to Taylor! There are 7 people left, so they had two groups of three with Taylor remaining. They told him he was safe, but he had to decide which group of people he thought was safe as well and stand with them. He looked so tormented trying to decide! Very sad.
5.) Am enjoying not speaking in complete sentences. Very fun.
6.) Yay for 4/20! Best day of the year. Mostly because it consists of all even numbers. Yay for even numbers. And yay for blackbean dip. And rice crackers. Rice crackers dipped in blackbean dip. Yes, that is the greatest thing in the world.
Thank you and peace to all of you. Have a good 4/20.
-amanda | | |
| Just to make sure that this week really sucks, let's add some family drama to the mix.
1.) My brother, who is already deaf, mentally retarded, physically handicapped, etc. just poked his right eye so much that he detatched his cornea and is now completely blind in that eye. I am a bit distracted by my sister (which will be number two), but I feel so bad for him.
2.) Ok, now this is the thing that almost made me so mad I cried today. First of all I should say that my family has a bit of native american in them, but my sister is the only one who really shows it. She looks a lot like me if they painted me brown, died my hair darker, and gave me brown contacts. So, my family and I always tease her and call her a "native". Recently, the school newspaper interviewed her about what it is like to be a native (she told them that she wasn't actually native) and put her picture up next to the article. I thought it was hilarious when my mom first told me this. So did she.
However, after the article came out, this stupid little boy who has been harrassing my sister all year started making fun of her for it. It is also important to note that my sister is nothing like me in personality. She is very sweet, very friendly, an all-around good person, but she is a bit too nice in that she is a pushover. So she gets bullied and teased a lot because she is so sensitive to it. She often comes home crying because someone teased her at school, even though it was most likely in good fun. She is too sensitive a lot of the time, but I have tried to give her advice on fighting back (verbally, of course.) She is just not very good at being mean. Let me reiterate that she is very sweet girl.
Back to the stupid boy. Apparently today he was saying the most horribly racist things I have ever heard anyone say to anyone else...and anyone who knows me or heard a conversation between me and Cassie knows that is saying something. Things like "I want to send you, your people, and all the black people in the world to concentration camps" and (this is a direct quote taken from an online conversation with my sister, excuse the language) "You gonna fucking tell on me you stupid fucking bitch? cuz you know if you do everyone will hate you cuz 1 youre indian and everyone hates indians and 2 cuz i will tell them to."
She came home in tears and told my mom she never wanted to go back to that school. She has two classes with this boy, one of them is band where they play the same instrument. I seriously think I might have to go home for a couple of days in May and set this little fucker straight. I have not been this pissed off in a long time. I am pissed to the point that I could really hurt someone. That kid is lucky I am not in the same state. NO ONE makes my little sister cry but ME!
Any advice on what I should tell her to do? I am too mad to think straight right now. | | |
| 1.) this school sucks soooo bad. now they are telling me i owe them over two thousand dollars? last i checked they owed me money. now all of the sudden i cannot register? yet i could register last week? very curious. dude, there are only like 1600 students at this stupid school, why the hell can't the administration deal with them all properly. i bet they kept me on a meal plan or something, asses.
2.) i have a 7 page paper to finish in the next hour and a half. when i told tess she gave me a suprised look. i thought it meant because that was totally doable, so i said "yeah, its not too bad." then she told me i was her hero for being able to write that fast. i should have told her that i had another paper due this morning that i finished in a half an hour. apparently that is impressive.
3.) i am so pissed off at thsi school for constantly screwing up my financial aid stuff (totally separate from the fact that they are breaking me financially) that i am taking out my anger on my own body. i got the big bag of peanut m&ms this time. screw you school!
4.) ran 5 miles yesterday. am now very sore.
5.) credit card company made a very bad decision to increase my credit limit again. very bad move.
6.) okay, maybe nevermind. now my computer won't let me on the internet (my laptop). it has my outline and the beginning of my essay on it. if i cannot get it off and on to webdisk, i am going to go for a big ol' f you stupid essay. its for a 400-level class and its this really simple essay on global warming. it sucks anyway. its basically the india/china disad. oh well though, its a good argument for not cutting down on our fossil fuel use, which is something i never thought i would say.
7.) update: bucky got voted off american idol (should have been ace) and "lost" was not nearly as crazy as last week.
8.) now my tummy hurts. too much chocolate.
9.) i think i am just in a bad mood.
10.) i hate this school.
peace | | |
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